Opinion |
I met this incredibly intriguing guy at his goodbye party — he was moving to Europe. My uncle just invited me on a trip near where the guy lives. Should I contact him? Ask Lisi
Opinion
Based on the author’s interpretations and judgments of facts, data and events
Lisi Tesher is an advice columnist for the Star and based in ÎÚÑ»´«Ã½. Send her relationship questions via email: lisi@thestar.ca
²ÏÌýMy sister has an eating disorder she has hidden from everyone for years. I once asked her husband how he manages her and he feigned ignorance. There’s absolutely no way he doesn’t know. She is sometimes upwards of 80 pounds overweight, and other times she is easily 20 to 40 pounds underweight.
She is constantly on a new diet: paleo, keto, vegan and tries every weight loss pill she can legally get her hands on. She is now on Ozempic and is in the best shape of her life. I am begging her to speak to a therapist in conjunction with a dietitian and nutritionist, to get her to maintain this weight and whatever healthy eating habits she is currently following.
But she won’t acknowledge any of the above. How can I help her?
Healthy Sis
´¡ÌýIf your sister is in a good place right now, and she got there without your help and she refuses to discuss it, then you’re at a closed door. She doesn’t need your input and clearly doesn’t want it.
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Your next move depends on your personality and your relationship with your sister. You could say to her, in front of her husband, that you are very proud of her for taking control of her health, and that no matter what she is doing to help her get where she is, you’d love to support her however she would like. There’s the elephant in the room brought out in the open for all to see.
Or you could just monitor quietly from a distance and be there to pick up the pieces if she ever needs you.
²ÏÌýA few months ago, I went out with a group of friends and met a guy I hadn’t seen in years. Unbeknownst to me, the get-together was a sort of goodbye party for him as he was moving to Europe for a project with his company. We have been maintaining friendly contact, nothing romantic because we live so far apart.
Last week, my uncle called to invite me on a Mediterranean cruise as his daughter just found out she’s pregnant and can’t travel. The ship docks not far from where this guy is working. I’d love to see him if he’s available but I feel stupid asking. Should I?
Long Distance
´¡ÌýYes. Why not? What do you have to lose? There are only two options here: he says no, I can’t meet you. No loss as you hadn’t planned on seeing him ever again. He says yes, and you have a fun day exploring wherever your ship lands.
But ask him sooner than later so he can at least try to get some time off work to meet you if he wants to.
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²ÏÌýMy wife has gone cold and I have no idea what to do to entice her to have any form of sexual activity with me. I try to snuggle her in bed but she rolls away. I try to kiss her good morning but she turns her cheek. I try to shower her with love by bringing her flowers, suggesting we go out for dinner, but she has no interest. This has been going on for six months.
What do I do?
Cold as Ice
´¡ÌýHave you spoken with your wife, asked her why she’s uninterested in showing you love and affection? You may get a very simple answer, if you ask. It could be anything from something health related to she’s having an affair or is simply no longer in love with you. Ask her.
FEEDBACK Regarding the man with life problems (April 24):
Reader: “You empathize with this classic PMS guy (Poor Me Syndrome) who by his own admission, enjoys a ‘drama-free life.’
“I do not empathize with him. His predicament (easily solved by a second car) brings a crocodile tear to the eye. I empathize with the young woman I pass each day who has been crippled by a stroke and faces many years of recovery. Never once has she asked why life is so hard. Or my friend with cerebral palsy who is the most positive person I know.
“Your empathy for Mr. PMS puzzles me. These are tough times and life is hard sometimes, but you’d see it’s usually harder on the next guy if you cared to look around.
“My advice: Wake up, man up, dry your tears and get over yourself.â€
Lisi: Everyone’s life is their reality. I’m just trying to help.
Opinion articles are based on the author’s interpretations and judgments of facts, data and events. More details
Lisi Tesher is an advice columnist for the Star and based in
ÎÚÑ»´«Ã½. Send her relationship questions via email: lisi@thestar.ca
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