Let us pray Matt Stone and Trey Parker do not end up in Guantanamo Bay.
Can’t you picture Kristi Noem, a.k.a ICE Barbie, visiting the “South Park†co-creators in their cages? She’d record an ‘80s-style music video — see the Secretary of ÎÚÑ»´«Ã½land Security in bedazzled athleisurewear and pink flak jacket — in which she gyrates while brandishing a Glock that will later be used to execute a dog off-camera.
A smirking Stone and Parker would then look up and say, “Eat a bag of dicks.â€
Oh, this hot war between “South Park†and Trump 2.0 is getting rude and crude. It started last month when the animated series returned for Season 27. The White House was not amused. Donald Trump was portrayed as a litigious jackass with a “teeny tiny penis†who sleeps with Satan.
I’m not here to argue with the truth.
A thin-skinned zombie in the White House hit back. He called “South Park†a “fourth-rate†show that hasn’t been relevant for two decades. He refrained from refuting the teeny tiny part: “The president has an unmatched length and girth. Nobody has seen anything like it. The man is a tripod.â€
But if the zombies were hoping “South Park†would move on after the premiere, they were as mistaken as doomed souls who voted for Trump. A trailer for the second episode, which streams Thursday on Paramount+, puts ICE Barbie and her masked thugs in the satirical bombsights.
Now, if U.S. ÎÚÑ»´«Ã½land Security was managed by smart people, it would ignore this lampooning and focus on the mission statement, which apparently is to terrorize gardeners, fruit pickers, day labourers, seamstresses, car washers, short-order cooks and other illegal immigrants who have never committed a crime beyond dreaming of a better life for their families.
It seems ICE is having a tough time finding the rapists and murderers. So they are stalking immigration courtrooms to nab anyone who follows the rules and abides by scheduled asylum hearings. It’s like setting up a sting outside PetSmart and arresting everyone for animal abuse.
Since the dopes running ÎÚÑ»´«Ã½land Security couldn’t piece together a 12-piece jigsaw puzzle of a Dalmatian — there are too many dots — they foolishly posted a screengrab of this week’s “South Park†to recruit even more masked thugs.
Imagine if Pottery Barn posted an image of looting with the caption, “Join Us!â€
On Tuesday, “South Park†responded to ICE on X: “Wait, so we ARE relevant? #eatabagofdicksâ€
Trump 2.0 is now as emboldened as Joey Chestnut at the Mandarin buffet.
Illegal executive orders targeting private law firms? Do it! Stop funding university research on cancer? Damn right! Fire anyone who provides accurate facts and data that bums out the big guy? Hey, you’ll know about the hurricane when your roof blows off. Threaten to revoke Rosie O’Donnell’s citizenship? She had it coming!
Let the poorest infants in the world suffer and die from malnutrition and a lack of medicine that is rotting in a warehouse? Serves them right! Blow millions of taxpayer dollars on golf trips, refurbishing a luxury plane (cough, bribe) from Qatar, paving over the Rose Garden to turn it into a roller derby rink, commissioning a new gilded ballroom so Dear Leader can do the cha-cha-cha with the oleaginous autocrats he worships like matinee idols? Why not!
Hey, dummies, all of this is jet fuel for “South Park.â€
For a show that has offended just about everyone over a quarter century, Trump 2.0 is a target-rich environment for piercing the absurdities, hypocrisies and outrages as America backslides from democracy toward a Trumpocracy.
It’ll be like going from living in a mansion to living in a tree house.
If “South Park†goes after SecDef Pete Hegseth in a future episode, that poor bastard will pound tequila shots while spritzing pomade into his hair and gently weeping under his desk. If they go after VP JD Mascara, he will freak out and have rough sex with the nearest suede sectional.
As Forbes put it on Wednesday: “The series continues to provoke the administration’s wrath.â€
But Parker and Stone don’t care about wrath. They are bemused by wrath. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Church of Scientology, a previous target, has a $10 million hit out on these rascals. Mention “South Park†to a radical Islamist and he will spit on your shoes and vow to behead Eric Cartman.
Parker and Stone don’t care. Blowback lifts them higher.
Donald Trump never hesitates to lash out at his perceived enemies. Yet he is conspicuously mute about “South Park.†Why, it’s almost as if he is afraid to provoke their wrath. He is so used to bullying the media, cultural institutions, political adversaries, members of his own party, slow-moving clerks at the drive-thru while never expecting anyone to fight back.
“South Park†is ready to rumble. And they are not taking prisoners.
To join the conversation set a first and last name in your user profile.
Sign in or register for free to join the Conversation