ÎÚÑ»´«Ã½

When I was first living on my own, there could be multiple days in a row when I just didn’t eat. And then I’d make a plan with a bunch of friends to go have pizza, and I’d eat. Not abundantly, just the normal number of slices for a guy my size.

But I know my habits aren’t “normal.” Do you think I need help? Or do you think I’m fine?

No Dessert Necessary

´¡ÌýI think you need help. You yourself called your relationship with food “strange,” so you know that something is not “right.” I think it would best serve you to seek the help of a nutritionist and a dietitian to help you understand WHY we need food, and which foods are best eaten and when.

This is not my area of expertise, but I do know that our bodies need fuel to function, and we get our fuel through food and drink. Without it, we are not performing to our best abilities. And I’m not just talking about your physical body, but your brain needs food to function.

Unfortunately, I believe you are doing yourself more harm than good by not eating. So, please — get some professional help and enjoy the journey.

²ÏÌýSex, sex and more sex. That’s all everyone talks about! My sister complains that her girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex with her (TMI, but that’s another story). My buddy complains that the new woman he’s dating is terrible in bed. My other buddy is having sex with three different women, and they all just found out about each other. And my own girlfriend wants to have sex EVERY time we see each other.

I don’t want that. Sometimes I just want to go out for dinner, or for a walk. I’m sorry that my sister is unhappy with her girlfriend, but I don’t want to know about her sex life. Same with all my friends.

I feel like I’m supposed to want to talk about sex with whomever wants to talk about it, but I just don’t. Is there something wrong with me?

Asexual maybe?

´¡ÌýI don’t think there’s anything wrong with you. You’re different from your sister and your friends. That’s OK. They need to accept you for who you are as much as you need to accept them.

However, you signed off as maybe asexual. If you feel that you may be asexual, you need to express that to your girlfriend, as she is clearly VERY sexual, which would make you two completely not simpatico. You both deserve to live life on your own terms, so it would be unfair to continue a relationship with her.

And you may want to seek some professional therapy to help you navigate what it means to be asexual and how that may affect your future relationships.

FEEDBACK Regarding Joy After Pain (April 26):

Reader: “I agree that a person’s consensual personal relationships are their own business. However, I am appalled at the double standards! Men frequently date women many years their junior, even decades younger. Other men congratulate them. Some women might admonish them, while others may wonder if wealth, power or status have something to do with a ‘trophy’ girlfriend or wife.

“Why shouldn’t women have the same options? Be free to date someone younger, and not even that much younger? Their friends seem to accept and even perpetuate this double standard. Instead, they should celebrate the open-mindedness and progressive attitudes of both parties! No guilt, no shame, no blame or judgment. All the writer needs to do is stop worrying about what other people think and just enjoy life and her partner!

“Empowerment for both parties is a true gift. Here’s hoping they just celebrate it and each other!”